Childhood abuse survivors dating site dating a man 16 years older
This then provides an opportunity to talk and confirm there is a shared vision that you can both work towards. I always thought that if he loved me enough he would stop doing those things – now I can see that it was his way of switching off and although I still don’t like it and want him to change, at least I can see it for what it is” A man’s, and possibly even your own, sense of shame around what happened, the effects, and fear of other people’s reactions or judgments.
These feelings can make it extremely difficult to talk to each other. We know that shame – just like a mushroom – grows best in the dark.
Some behaviours that may have worked for a while or in particular circumstances can overstay their welcome.
Before discussing some of the ways sexual abuse can impact men and their relationships, it is important to acknowledge that couple relationships require time, effort and commitment – from both parties – to be successful.
Although hearing that a man has been sexually abused is distressing, sometimes this information can help a partner make sense of some of the behaviours they have been observing.
It can then provide a starting place for positive change.
It is also good to remind yourself that, although you are impacted by his behaviour, it is not all about you.
One of the best things you can do is to keep respectful communication flowing.